Grounding Practices - Learning to be present
Grounding is something that I talk about a lot. Mostly because it is something that has been helpful for me in my own personal life. If you glance through other spaces similar to mine, spaces that talk about yoga and wellness and emotional health, Grounding is a practice you will likely hear mentioned. So let’s talk a bit about what Grounding is and why it is helpful.
There are several forms of Grounding and ways to do this, but essentially, Grounding is learning to be mindfully present. In many ways, we are unintentionally pulled away from the present moment. We feel ungrounded – scattered, off balance, overwhelmed – because we are attempting to be in two places at once. Although our body is physically in the present moment, often our mind and/or our emotions are not.
Stuck in the Future
Often we feel scattered and slightly off kilter because we are overwhelmed by responsibilities, goals, schedules, relationships, and any number of other things. Our minds are constantly whirring and juggling all of those things. We are often absorbed by the future – what do I need to accomplish that task coming up? What do I need to prep for dinner? What does my schedule look like tomorrow? Who is going to pick up the kids from school? And so it continues.
Stuck in the Past
Sometimes, we also get stuck in the past, looping through conversations we’ve had, mistakes we’ve made, things we should have done differently or better and even sins that continue to weigh us down with guilt or shame. With our minds perpetually pulled forward or dragged backward, it is difficult to enjoy the present moment. We miss what God has for us in the here and now.
Stuck in our Nervous System
Trauma is another thing that can pull us out of the present. Something in the present, whether real or remembered, tells our Nervous System that we are not safe. Thus, our fight/flight response engages and we react out of instinct, not with thoughtful intention. This happens not just for bit T trauma like PTSD. It can be triggered by small t trauma as well. See if you can spot patterns of things that trigger this fight/flight response. For me, these patterns show up as irrational emotions. My brain tells me I’m fine but my body has already responded as if I’m not fine. I did not grow up in an abusive situation, nor have I ever experienced any life threatening circumstances. But there are small things, and the accumulation of small things, that my body responds to, even when my head says that logically I’m fine.
Stuck in Technology World
Screens very easily take us out of the present moment. They are designed to capture our attention and hold us hostage. A simple notification that has you glancing at your phone, soon becomes a rabbit trail into the technological abyss. I’ve had those moments when I’ve seen a notification on Instagram or hopped on Pinterest to find a specific thing and then had to drag myself out of a 20 minute scroll stupor.
Stuck in Problem Solving Mode
For me, this is the one that most often pulls me out of the present moment. I am often inside my head, solving a problem. Whether it’s an emotion I’m processing or information I’m digesting, if there is a problem in my life, I’m inside my head working through it to find a solution. I have a hard time just letting things be. And while I think that most problems do need to be worked out and worked through, it shouldn’t be at the expense of the present moment, especially when there are people and relationships in the present moment. I love solitude because of this. But relationships are valuable and should be treasured. Those relationships are often a present concern, while the problem I’m working through inside my head is something that I can set aside and pick up later, when I don’t need to be intentionally mindful of the people I’m with.
Grounding is a way of noticing and being fully present.
This weird juxtaposition of being in two places at once causes friction in our brain making us feel overwhelmed and out of control. Grounding practices help us to bring balance and root us in the present.
It’s like a tree. The branches of the tree grow up and out in different directions but unless its roots are firmly planted and holding space in the ground, the tree is at the mercy of the elements. The sun dries it up, the leaves and branches withering. The wind tosses it around, helpless against the force. The rain is not a useful source of nourishment because there is no way for the tree to absorb it.
There are many ways to practice mindfulness and grounding. These are not the only ways, but a few that I have found helpful in my own life.
Use your senses. Notice the present moment through your five senses. To do this simple practice, look around and name five things you can see, then name four things you can touch (if you are able, actually touch them and notice how they feel beneath your fingers), name three things you can hear, then two things you can smell, and finally one thing you can taste.
Use your breath. This can be done anytime you start to feel overwhelmed. Lengthening your exhale helps your body shift into the parasympathetic nervous system taking you out of that fight/flight mode and instead relax into a more rational, present brain space. There are two simple practices to do this. The first is a three part breath. To begin this practice, place one hand on your upper chest and the other on your belly. Notice how your body expands with your inhale and contracts with your exhale. Then try intentionally breathing in so that the hand on your belly rises first, then fills the ribs, and finally the upper chest. As you exhale, reverse the process; release the air from the upper chest, then the ribs, then the belly. (Note: you are not actually breathing into the belly, rather it is the diaphragm you are feeling.) The other way to practice lengthening your exhale and slowing down your nervous system is to count. Inhale through your nose to a count of four, hold your breath at the top of the inhale for a count of seven, and exhale through your nose or mouth to a count of eight. Inhale for four; hold for seven; exhale for eight. 4-7-8.
Build in anchoring rituals for your daily rhythms. One of my teachers in Yoga Teacher Training taught me this one. Having moments and rituals in the day that help you come back to yourself, back to the present, essentially gives you a chance to reset, restart, recalibrate. Begin by paying attention to those moments when you feel restful and connected in the present. For me, this takes the form of a hot cup of tea. The feel of the warm mug, the heat and taste of the tea as I slowly sip it – those things help me shift from feeling scattered to feeling stable. Another thing that makes me feel rested and connected is a walk in the woods. However, that is not always a viable option. I live on a busy street where there are constant sounds of traffic and very few trees. But I can use the diffuser to simulate the smell of a walk in the woods. I almost always use nature scenes for the wallpaper and lock screens on my computer, phone, and TV. Once you start to notice those things that make your mind and body switch from chaos to calm, find a time in your day where you consistently feel chaotic and need to switch your brain to calm, like when the kids get home from school. Or find a time that is a natural transition, like when the kids go down for a nap or when you finish eating dinner. This is a good time to establish an anchor. Make a habit to do that one small thing that helps you reconnect with your body and slow your nervous system. Make a cup of tea, set the diffuser to smell like a seaside escape, pull on the cozy hoodie. If you can extend that moment, close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. When you can extend that moment even further, recite a Scripture verse to remind yourself of who God is and who you are in Christ, or acknowledge a few blessings from your day so far.
Gratitude Practice. This is a practice of noticing. Ann Voskamp is an excellent resource for this. She writes extensively about noticing God and His goodness in your life. She has created the idea of 1,000 Gifts that I truly love. You can do this for yourself or with your family. It is essentially a scavenger hunt for God’s blessings in your life. Naming three things each day of the year adds up to 1,000 blessings each year. This practice of noticing and expressing gratitude shifts our focus. In his letter to the Colossians, Paul tells us to “set our eyes on things above, not on earthly things.” When we count our blessings, we are acknowledging God’s goodness and kindness to us, even in the hard seasons. This does not mean that we need to minimize the hard things, but rather, we see that God is still good and kind and loving. He is the One we trust in and depend upon. Often in hard seasons we get wrapped up in the difficulty, the struggle, the surviving. A gratitude practice helps us to see the beauty even when life feels messy and ugly. It helps to remind us that with God all things are possible and in Him there is always hope and light and love.
And obviously, the final practice I’m going to mention here is yoga. Yoga that is slow and mindful helps me to come out of my head and into my body and the present moment. In the yoga world, yoga practices that focus on the root chakra are mostly focused on this idea of grounding. They are poses that build strength, especially in the lower body and core, and movement that is slow and focused on noticing the body. When we are present in the body, we are better able to be present in the moment. Practicing what that feels like on the yoga mat often helps to translate that feeling into everyday life. Here is a good practice to get you started.
